↝ i'm here for you

lol, i feel gone. i've spent all my energy on looking calm and collected. truth is hard to face. you see, i don't feel like i'm being honest.
 
1.truth is i'm not rich.
2. truth is i go to a private school because i got a scholarship.
3.truth is that i live in a '' creative studio '' which translates to a loft.
4.truth is i'm supposed to forgive my father for saying that whenever i'm with my mom i get shot.
5.truth is that i don't want to.
6.truth is that i don't want to be single anymore. 7.truth is that i have horrible teeth.
8.truth is that my face has pimples on every square inch of it.
9.truth is i weigh one hundred and thirty two pounds.
10.truth is that i used to pretend i was stupid to get guy's attention.
11.truth is that now i'm no longer smart because of it.
12.truth is i act like a dumb blonde most of the time.
13.truth is that i got an intelligent youth award from obama.
14.truth is that i read more than i go online.
15.truth is that i lie about my obsessions with tumblr, and reading, and peanut butter, and one direction.
16.truth is my dad has a form of alzheimer's.
17.truth is that i'm half jewish.
18.truth is that my sister hurts me.
19.truth is that she says i shouldn't be alive. 20.truth is that i scratch my wrists so hard they bleed.
21.truth is that i'm not skinny.
22.truth is that i dumped my first boyfriend.
23.truth is that he was suicidal.
24.truth is that i'm a protestant christian.
25.truth is that i believe in god.
26.truth is that i wish i was better.
27.truth is that i can't sing.
28.truth is that i write fanfiction sometimes.
29.truth is i used to roleplay.
30.truth is that my family is running out of money.
31.truth is that my mom can't find a job.
32.truth is i used to starve myself.
33.truth is i went days and days without eating food.
34.truth is that i'm not worthy for life.
35.truth is i don't trust myself.
36.truth is that i like a guy two grades older than me.
37.truth is he'll never like me back.
38.truth is i used to have a crush on my best friend's boyfriend.
39.truth is that i hate pda.
40.truth is that i'm one of two single people in my group.
41.truth is i love lewis watson.
42.truth is that poetry is my escape hatch of life.
43.truth is that i like the movie clueless more than mean girls.
44.truth is that i want to learn guitar.
45.truth is that i have dandruff.
46.truth is that i wasn't allowed in a cheer squad because i was too fat.
47.truth is that i cry four times a week at least.
48.truth is that i like cooking.
49.truth is that i want to have a husband who is my best friend.
50.truth is that i want to go to a beach.
51.truth is that i feel jealous of my best friend's boyfriend because he spends more time with her than i do.
52.truth is that i refuse to speak to my father.
53.truth is that in two weeks i go to canada to say goodbye to my family.
54.truth is that my uncle's a druggie with an alcohol problem.
55.truth is that my grandmother didn't send me a birthday card.
56.truth is that i hate myself. truth is that i don't know how to start conversations.
57.truth is that i'm boring to be around.
58.truth is that i want the best for my sister.
59.truth is that i think people like me more on here.
60.truth is that i have zero percent confidence.
61.truth is that i'm selling my childhood home.
62.truth is that i like in new york.
63.truth is that i like wearing black more than colors.
64.truth is that i wish i wasn't a teacher’s pet in french.
65.truth is i know french.
66.truth is my uncle stole my money.
67.truth is that my dad used to like me more than my sister.
68.truth is i wish i could be an actress.
69.truth is that i can slightly draw.
70.truth is that i'm stupid.
71.truth is that i wish i had never told anyone about my story.
72.truth is that they judge me now.
73.truth is that people take advantage of me.
74.truth is that i lie about my bus ticket every day.
75.truth is that i wish i was mentally ill so life would be easier.
76.truth is that i aspire to be a model.
77.truth is that i sneak on poly.
78.truth is that i'm being unfaithful but i don't want to break his heart.
79.truth is i don't think anyone will read this.
80.truth is i wouldn't mind if someone killed me right now.
81.truth is my heart should stop beating.
82.truth is that i’ve never kissed anyone.
83.truth is that i wish i kissed someone.
84.truth is that i’m not afraid of much.
85.truth is that i’m afraid of death, afraid of spiders.
86.truth is that i’m not good enough.
87.truth is that i’m going to a lewis watson concert tomorrow.
88.truth is that i’m supposed to be doing my homework now.
89.truth is that the catcher in the rye isn’t such a bad book.
90.truth is that i’m invited to a really sought after invitation-only party.
91.truth is that the guys who are hosting it want to set me any someone else up.
92.truth is that they’re bad at whispering.
93.truth is that is that my best friend lives halfway across the world from me.
94.truth is that i wish i could die and make life better for my mother and sister.
95.truth is that a lot of people hate me.
96.truth is that in my old school i got bullied.
97.truth is that i’m sorry.
98.truth is that i don’t like the fact of how nice i am.
99.truth is that i’m really ugly
100.truth is that i’m overly loud.
 
truth is out.

---------- sunday mornings : maroon 5 ----------
 
for the brilliant: @y0uremilie
 
i want a ___ from you: phone number from you. we should text! it would make life so much more convenient for me, but only if it's alright with you.
 
chance that we'd date: 0% you've got yourself another man!
 
what would you be to me: i know too much to say everything. let me just use the easy: sexy cheerleader.

if you snuck into my room i'd show you my collection of how to flirt books. jk, lol. don't have any of those. i'd run downstairs with you where we'd bake cookies until midnight and spend the test of the evening eating them sitting in my closet.

if we kissed by accident i would:
~ stick my tongue out.
~ we are so close. like i tell you pretty much everything relevant.
~ i don't think the occasion would arise.
 
have i ever/do i still like you: nope. you've always been my bestie, my sexual bestie, nonetheless.

---------- higher love : james vincent mcmorrow ----------
 
@/yourjuztin please don't leave me. please.
 
i want a ___ from you: first kiss
 
chance that we'd date: it's really in the eye of the beholder.
 
what would you be to me: right now you're my faboulouser juzzy who loves to cuddle.

if you snuck into my room i'd take polaroid pictures of us throughout the night and after you had left smile at them.

if we kissed by accident i would:
~ see if there was a spark
 
have i ever/do i still like you: mhm,

----------- we own the night : M83 -----------
 
for my darling @ashl3ytisdal3
 
i want a ___ from you: second chance. i want a second chance, a chance to erase anything i've ever said to you and start over. a chance to do things right this time. a chance to be a better friend.
 
chance that we'd date: your cinderella and i'm shrek. so, no. you deserve a prince charming.
 
what would you be to me: my other half in a best friend way.

if you snuck into my room i'd show you around. play hide and seek, make shadows on the wall, blast my favorite music, tuck you into my bed and sleep beside you, and we'd wake up in the morning and make fried salami and eggs.

if we kissed by accident i would:
~ bite my lip
~ wonder if it was by accident
 
have i ever/do i still like you: you deserve so much more than me, i used to like you. a long time ago, you're now more than my best friend, so there isn't a way for me too like you anymore.

@your-model-anons : charlotte free.
 
i want a ___ from you: i would love a b e s t f r i e n d s h i p from you.

chance that we'd date: you're more of a sister to me, so i'd say not really.

what would you be to me: would you be my sister?
 
if you snuck into my room i'd take you to the park and we'd talk until dawn, to which i would walk you back to your house, give you a kiss on the cheek and then go back to mine.
 
if we kissed by accident i would:
~blush
~think about inmating, because that's just what i would do
~yah. what would you do?
 
have i ever/do i still like you:
i think once, before we were super close, but i realized that i could never amount up to your feelings for lana.

i feel like life is confusing me far to much.
and the scariest part of that,
is that i'll never get that sense of security back, like the one that your favorite stuffed animal gave you when you were a child, or when your mom would hug you.

is that i'll never get that sense of security back, like the one that your favorite stuffed animal gave you when you were a child, or when your mom would hug you.

and the scariest part of that,

i feel like life is confusing me far to much.

first of all, let me just say that i apologize for blinding you. i will pay for the damages.
 
second of all, that person is me. i know i am ugly.
 
thirdly, that shirt is by todd oldham who stopped designing clothing and now does home furnishing. it is just darling.
 
now, onto the important part.
- i solemnly swear to be the best possible anon an can be. from the minute i log onto my account ( tomlinson-anonymous ) until the moment i log out, i promise to devote all my time on here making you smile, laugh and feeling confident.
 
in the past i've made some mistakes, been on here for the wrong reasons but from this moment on i am here for you.
 
have you ever realized that i don't have anything about relationships in my profile? ever? that's because i am n o t on polyvore for a boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband. i am not here to find my other half, if i wanted to date people i'd go to eharmony or another online dating site.
 
polyvore has too much drama as it is. i sit down an scroll through my messages, and i notice that i'm only talking to anons. anons, anons and more anons. it's been too long that i've been wrapped in the godawful bubble wrap that anons are the only people on polyvore.
 
i like talking to non-anons, but i've gotten messages from them saying 'why are you talking to me? you're an anon'. that really breaks my heart, more than whether people care if i have a penis or a vagina, which i have a vagina (F Y I) or if love is defined as 'having feelings for a significant other'. that makes me more upset than disappointing someone, more than loosing a game in sports. i wish that the line inbetween anons and non-anons was so blurred that there really isn't a difference.
 
i pledge to stop being an anon that isn't here for the right things.
 
i pledge to answer all my messages back,
 
to talk to everyone, not only anons.
 
to make non-anons feel like they are part of this anon world.
 
to make everyone, anon or not, feel wanted.
 
i promise to be an anon that cares.